I wrote this when I met my sub Mariestar 4 years ago and began our relationship. Still holds true today.
I have existed by perpetuating half a life
One half Caring Lover
One half Raging Beast
The two never coexisting
Never occupying the same space at the same time.
I was the Caring Lover for most of my life
It was fulfilling, to an extent.
But the Beast taunted me
The cage He resided in held true
But still the Beast clawed at me
It ravaged my soul, devoured me from within
Coaxing me to let It free
But I dared not.
Then I reached a point in my life where I tired,
I could no longer sustain His consistent imprisonment.
He was a part of me, my rage, my fire, my strength, my desire
So I released him for outings, never too long,
Long enough for Him to feed and for me to rest.
He did the things I could not, dare not do.
The things my upbringing, my morality, my societal conscious,
All told me was wrong, evil, corrupt, and vile.
But I enjoyed watching, if he was full, I was full.
If He was content, I was content.
This is where I have resided,
if not happy, at least comfortable.
The duality in balance, or so I thought.
I realized that the Caring Lover was not being fed.
I didn’t know he needed that, I was unaware.
I turned and looked and now he was in the cage as well,
Except I never let him out, only the Beast.
How could I have missed that?
Then I realized why, unlike the Beast, the Caring Lover’s ankle was shackled.
Even with the door open he could not leave.
Upon closer inspection, the shackle’s links contained names.
Names of those who had hurt him, broken him, shattered his heart.
I did not know what to do.
I had discovered the secret of the duality,
But I could not perpetuate it with the Lover shackled.
And then you came along.
My darling, my good girl, my sub, my brat princess; Cara Mia.
I knew the Beast could feed on you, yes that was obvious.
Not only could he feast, he could gorge, glutton.
I knew this from first glance, from what I had known.
However you did not approach the Beast first,
You walked right by him with merely a pet to his head,
and sauntered into the cage where the Caring Lover was huddled.
You stroked hair and kissed him,
You breathed the Promethian flames into his hollow frame.
With a touch, the named etched on the shackles disappeared,
And the once strong chains fell to the ground as dust.
You emerged from the cage holding his hand and approached the Beast.
I thought you were to take His hand as well,
The concept of the Duality realized.
But no, you did not do that.
What you did was astounding, something I never contemplated.
All my logic, all my reasoning, all my intelligence and I missed it.
You placed the Caring Lover’s hand in that of the Beast’s.
You dared do the impossible.
You boldly proclaimed that a Singularity could exist.
A Singularity comprising both entities in one space and time.
I closed my eyes expecting a violent reaction; a supernova.
Instead, they came together, they glowed.
The chemical bond was a natural one, it gave off heat; radiance.
The new molecule contained the properties of both!
Solid, strong, and the impurities purged.
After my eyes adjusted, I saw the truth, the reality.
There I stood, stronger than ever, both halves combined.
The cage is gone now. Neither half needs to be locked away.
It is just you, holding MY hand.